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humour Tag

This dish lasted just long enough to grab the photo.

It’s not just bloggers, we see the same slothfulness on TV, on radio and in press. Yes, I am referring to the pitiful recycling of old material in an effort to eek out one more programme, article or post from the previous year’s material. That “Best Of” programme is probably the most appalling form of TV one can endure. As a side note, comedy programmes bring this to a depth unplumbed by others. The sycophantic praising of old comedy by old comedians is an annual dirge that sickens me. They should be put out to grass, not bootlicked by ageing brownnose colleagues. It is pitiful and should be banned.

Monkfish Cheek in Tomato SauceAs you look forward into another new year full of promise, you want your life to be simpler, less pressured and healthier. You are thinking about joining (or rejoining) the gym. You have resolved to eat healthier, to exercise more and to get up earlier in the day. It’s time you looked at your alcohol consumption too. Not that it is too high. It’s just average amongst the people (drunks) you know. If you are a smoker, you are going to give up the evil weed as soon as you go to bed in the early hours of January 1st.  You know you are going to do all these things because it’s a new year approaching and a time for renewal. A time for hope. A time to make a list of promises to yourself…

Venison

Not the sort of thing one expects to have delivered. Particularly as I’m not a butcher.

Question 1 “This early in the season, is this a piece of legally shot doe?”

Answer 1 “I’m told it is. The now infamous Wicklow Hunter tells me that they were out on a night shoot on the 31st October and ‘…just after midnight’ he downed a young doe. That brings it into the November season where that sort of thing is OK in Wicklow.”
In short: Doe.

Question 2 “What recipe are you going to use?”

Answer 2 (Here’s where the Homer like d’oh! could come into its own.) “I am going to try something totally original. I am going to cook Venison and Plum Stew.” Given that I had no real idea what to do with the venison, this was a brave outburst on my part. An outburst, fuelled by a glass or three of Rutherford Ranch Cabernet Sauvignon.
In short: D’oh!

Lamb piecesDuring the week, I got a call in the office from the Wicklow Hunter. He enjoys winding people up and one never knows the real truth behind many of his activities. I forgive him a lot as he does his thing with good humour and a twinkle in his eye.

WH: Are you in?

Me: I am, sure did you not just ring?

WH: I did. I have some lamb for you. 

Me: Lamb? You don’t keep sheep, do you?

WH: No, this is the best tasting lamb there is. Trespass Lamb.

I was reading about speed reading today. By working at it, you can really improve your performance. Skim over sentences. Pay attention only to the important words. Let the meaning flow and you will rapidly learn to read and absorb information at a far quicker pace. I want you to try this while reading this post. To assist, I am going to put the important words in bold. Now, speed read on…

Gratuitous meat picture of sorts. Fish meat this time.

Free Range Eggs smallBack when Adam was a boy (the early 1950s) the British were encouraged to ‘Go to work on an egg’. This was a great advertising campaign built around a fantastic piece of copywriting. Having Tony Hancock in front of the camera helped a bit too.

In my business life, I have had the dubious pleasure of writing copy for various Easter advertisements featuring ‘Eggstravaganza’ in the headline. This usually followed up with ‘eggciting offers’ ‘cracking deals’ and other eggscrutiating word plays. 

I want you to imagine my youngest daughter. She is an innocent thing who likes small animals and fluffy things. She loves Disney cartoons. One of her favourites is Bambi. She finds the various scenes of innocence touching. When she watches it, she will be heard to say things like “Ahhh, so pretty.” and “Ohhhh, aren’t the chipmunks so cute.”

I am telling you all this because I recently suggested that I cook a rabbit stew for the family. This led to the following unfortunate conversation:

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