HomeFood (Page 36)

Food

A couple of months ago, my good friend P put himself on a gourmet cookery course. This was a major step for him, he being a ‘can’t boil an egg’ kind of guy. P is also what the female of the species would call “A typical man.” He is not big on chit-chat. He hides a veritable candelabra of lights under his bushel. So, while we were supping a pint or three of Guinness in our local, the Galloping Green, it surprised me, in fact it shocked me, when he said that he had cooked a Lamb Tagine as part of his course. The shock was three-fold. Fold one was that he had been on a cookery course. Fold two was that he had admitted to being there. Fold three was that he actually cooked something excellent (his wife told me). My reaction was not what it should have been. I let myself down.

Shepherd's Pie People are so easily thrown off the real issue. Food people are the easiest of all. Suckers. Ask them about Shepherd’s Pie and it’s simple to move them away from the real deal and distract them with talk of “Beef or Lamb?”. A quick search of the internet will expose the great and the good arguing why it must be lamb. Others take the view that beef is essential. Some miserable scribes show their complete lack of moral fiber by suggesting that a mix of the two is the answer. Pathetic.  

Beef ribsThe other evening, I was ruminating about what to cook for Sunday dinner. I was thinking of doing something totally Irish and I had got as far as deciding on beef ribs when my musings were interrupted by the Wife;  “Whiskey, Honey?” she asked with her usual economy of language. “Yes” I replied as inspiration dawned, “That’ll do it”. So I enjoyed a glass of Bushmills and plotted Sunday’s feed. 

PastaI am suspicious of you. I believe that you are not always totally honest with me. Look me in the eye (Imagine I am there with you.) and tell me that you are always  frank with others and with yourself. You are starting to feel a little awkward, aren’t you? We both know the truth. All those “Oooh, I invented it myself” recipes, the unhurried preparation and fun time had with loved ones while you turn out unhurried, perfect plates of food. I think not. I have seen what goes on. I know the realities of the domestic kitchen.

But, I am a nice person. I don’t want to shatter your carefully constructed fallacy filled world so I am letting you choose the post you want. Delusional kitchen happiness follows in purple (as it would be). Reality is in black (as it usually is).

PeachesThis one may get me in trouble. Before you go off the deep end and start to palpitate, I am not making a general case for food miles in what we eat. Though, I recently heard a very cogent argument for food to be produced where it is cheapest to do so. The actual costs involved in planting, growing, picking, cleaning, trimming, sorting, cooling, shipping or flying and driving a tray of green beans from Peru or Nigeria to your local supermarket are, apparently, negligible.

“Bllllpppppp.” (The sound of me blowing my nose). Not the best way for you to start reading this post. Not the most pleasant way for me to be writing it. The Wife and the Mother both need feeding this evening and I am completely under the weather. It could even be the dreaded Man Flu. Bllllpppppp. Uggghhhh.” I need to get plenty of garlic, lemon and rosemary into me to beat off the devastation that this Man Flu is wreaking on my system.

Garlic Chicken

The Wicklow Hunter has nearly forgiven me for my previous transgressions. You remember, the Don Draper conundrum. The only thing is, since my faux pas, he refuses to come into the office and insists on leaving free range egg gifts behind my car in our underground car park. This was different. The Hunter rang me and suggested a clandestine meeting beside the car.Free range eggs and salad

PearsYes, I am having a rant and you may be in my line of fire. You may be the cause of my ire and anger. But, as we say here in Ireland: If the cap fits, wear it. If you take offence, suck it up. Because I am beyond caring. I have reached the end of my rope. I am saying what I need to say and you better just take it on the chin.

There really is very little to it. Just make the dough, prepare the tomato sauce, get the toppings together, get the oven up to temperature, assemble the pizza, cook and serve, right?

Wrong. Oh so very, very, very, very wrong. If you want a quick pizza ring Domino’s. If you want the best pizza you have ever tasted, read on my friends, read on. The down-side is that preparing pizza for two is a lot of work for one. Particularly when I am the one doing the working.

The Irish Food Bloggers Association asked for recipes to appear in their ‘Something for the weekend’ series. I did a short version of this post for the purpose. Here’s the full story. 

The Wicklow Hunter is a passionate man. This year, he has taken to growing vegetables and herbs in his expansive spread in the Garden of Ireland. He does not do things by half. So his first crop of vegetables has started to come into season over the past few weeks. Like so many enthusiasts before him, he is discovering that growing the vegetables can be easier than giving them away. In truth, so many urbanites prefer their salad to come in a bag and their vegetables to come out of the freezer. Research confirms that is what we prefer.

%d bloggers like this: