Goat’s Cheese Mac ‘n’ Cheese – Make America Grate Again.

Americans, you have lost your way. Dark forces have taken over your once great land. The US of A has fallen foul of deception and now operates to low, low standards. This is not an alternative fact. This is reality and you had better get used to it. Yes, Americans, by and large, you no longer make your own Mac ‘n’ Cheese! You buy packets of stuff and reconstitute it. Revitalising the constitution is something that you may have to do very soon. So keep your reconstituting for matters political. Keep it out of the kitchen. 

It looks to me as if you need help in getting back your standards. So, here’s a technique that will trump any fake recipes. Look at my ingredients photo. The ingredients go all the way back past the sink, near the fridge, into the utility room and up against the wall (not THAT wall, my kitchen wall). Other ingredients in previous recipes only cover part of the island unit. This is a great recipe. This is a bigger recipe than any before.

There’s way more ingredients than you might think. Look at how far back it goes.

Goat’s Cheese Mac ‘n’ Cheese Ingredients

• 250 grammes of Macaroni
• 100 grammes of hard goat’s cheese
• 100 grammes of parmesan cheese
• 100 grammes of bacon lardons
• 2 or 3 shallots
• 100 grammes of flour
• 100 grammes of butter
• 250 ml of milk
• A handful of chives
• Salt and pepper
• A bottle of medium red wine to dull the pain

Side note on winning. Last year, I won the Blog Awards Ireland Best Food Blog. I would have won every other category by popular vote if illegal immigrants had not voted. That is a fact.

The goat’s cheese (I used Killeen) cheese is great. Grate the cheese.

When you are half done, grate again, yes, great again.

Side note on cheese funding: I paid for this recipe on my own. I did not receive any donations from any other source. I am immensely wealthy and have a vast cheese budget. I am a successful businessman and pay all my cheese suppliers. I do not threaten them with non payment and I have never offered my business partners 40c on the $ or try to bankrupt them. That is a fact.  

Boil a large pot of water and cook the macaroni (I suggest you go out and buy the macaroni and the parmesan quickly. They are Italian and I hear you will not be importing anything from Italy, or anywhere else, very soon).

Even in this turbulent age, I have time for a pouring shot.

Drain and reserve.

Slice the shallots and fry them with the lardons. Make a roux. In fact, don’t make a roux. That is French and I would consider it un-American. Make a rue. You will rue many things over the coming months.

The roux binds the ingredients together. Imagine being bound together. How un-American is that these days?

The rue (roux) is made by gently melting the butter in a saucepan and slowly adding the flour. Next add the milk, a little at a time. Then add the cheeses. Use all the goat, only use half the Parmesan. Then add the shallots, lardons and chopped chives.

Stir things up to get them integrated. The opposite of what happens in politics.

Add the macaroni, season and stir to incorporate.

The sauce sticks to the macaroni like a politician sticks to a convenient truth, whatever that happens to be.

Turn out the mixture into a baking dish and sprinkle with the remaining Parmesan cheese.

My hand is close to the lens in this shot. It looks bigger than it is. I have normal sized hands. Normal, not small.

Side note on turning out: It is a lot easier to turn out a cheesy pasta than it might be to turn out the millions of ‘Illegals’ that do the laundry, cooking, gardening and car washing. 

Bake the dish for 30 minutes at 200ºC (400ºF). Then serve with some nice red wine. None of that Californian stuff. They are probably going to leave the Union!

This is delicious and will unify you in your praise for Mac ‘n’ Cheese.

I was very happy with this dish. It was the most popular dish I’ve ever created. Thousands of people said it was excellent. Everybody loved it. I was so pleased with it, I donated $1,000,000 through my charitable foundation. That’s the truth. It’s a fact. I hope this doesn’t grate with you. America will be great again. In the meantime, grate some cheese….