Despite the evidence, even scientists can’t agree on the shocking truth of this dish. I devised this Five Spice Pork with Mango Sauce. I thought it was going to be a straightforward recipe. But, some stunning things happened, possibly making this into a superfood. You would think that a dish using so few ingredients might be a little light on flavour but, you will be amazed and even stunned by I am about to tell you.
On a side note, I was reading up on how to get more traffic to my blog. I have decided to incorporate some of the more commonly used tricks of making you engage with this post. While I was planning this piece, something truly unbelievable happened. It all started out innocently enough. When I decided to write out the ingredients list, it nearly blew my mind.
Ingredients
- 3 mangos
- 2 pork tenderloins
- 3 medium sized onions
- 2 cm (1 inch) ginger root
- 3 teaspoons of 5 spice powder
- 1 red chilli
- 1 handful of coriander (cilantro)

Is it a combination that will damage your health? Read the shocking truth below.
The first thing to do is to remove the sinews and not-nice stuff from the tenderloins. Then slice them into centimetre wide medallions. Could centimetre wide slices be outside EU health regulations? Find out the spine-tingling truth.

Using a very sharp knife can lead to tragic results. Read on….
Next I use ingredients that Russian scientists believe could be banned by the United States Food and Drug Administration.

Mango, though currently approved, could be banned by the USFDA at a future date.
Slice the mango into slices (what else) and then chop it into chunks. Place half the chunks with a little water and the chilli (sliced open to get the flavour out) in to a saucepan. Reduce it to a pulp in the same way as click bait headlines reduce your will to live.

I put a sliced chilli in the pot. Amazingly, nothing outrageous happened.
Slice the onions into nice big chunks.

It took only three minutes to bring me to tears….
Remove the chilli, unless you want a hot, hot result. Blend the mango into a nice smooth sauce, adding the lime juice as you go. Read on to find out why Kim Kardashian never eats mango.

I thought the taste would blown me away. I could not have been ready for what happened next….
Fry the onions, until soft, in a wok. Whoa! Another AMAZING part of the recipe is just about to blow your mind.

Nobody expected this to happen when I tossed the pork in the five spice.
Toss the pork in the five spice. Amazingly, the spice clings to the meat! Rumour has it that senior Apple executives don’t want this simple secret revealed.

Shocking trick that makes a pig change colour – Before your eyes!
Fry the pork in a little oil this will give a nice dry fried finish. The pork will turn a darker colour too! Add back the onions. Add the remaining mango chunks and stir to incorporate. Throw in the coriander (This multi-named transcontinental herb shocks Americans by being called cilantro.)

Flavour shock sensation. He added the herbs and things got very aromatic.
Serve this sensation on some rice. Pour over the sauce. You might just believe what happened next….

Could this be the best mango and pork dish ever?
Even though scientists may well agree and the FDA haven’t banned it, the EU are OK with the slices and I think I might have told a possible half truth about Kim K, this really is very, very tasty.
Give it a go. North Korean military leaders eat it regularly. Or so it says on the Internet.
Lisa @ cheergerm | 15th December 2015
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Snortworthy stuff, I now see where I am going wrong. Five spice, pork and coriander. A match made in heaven. Or should I say The Best Recipe Ever ….?
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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Hi Lisa,
Those three really do go well together. No matter what scientists say.
Linda Duffin | 15th December 2015
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I read your post while drinking tea. You’ll never believe what happened next. Yes, now I have to redecorate the kitchen.
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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Sorry about that. It’s my way of fending off the reality of where writing standards are going.
Naomi | 15th December 2015
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Very clever… and it worked… I have the pork, just need to get some mangos and try out this AMAZING experiment of yours 😉 (I’m such a geek that you got me with the science in the title)
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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That made me laugh Naomi. I think most had to read a paragraph or two to be properly hooked.
katechiconi | 15th December 2015
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I can clearly see you are a man with an unnatural affinity to advertising hooks of the more sensational kind. Despite strenuously avoiding these things in real life, I was unable to resist your blandishments. Good job your flavours are similarly sensational, your ingredients simple and honest and you’ve made no tantalising promises in your sign-off… 🙂
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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I tend to stay away from them myself. Though I was caught by a recent “Python Eats Porcupine. Then the Unexpected Happened.” What occurred was not unexpected in any way. I hate that!
katechiconi | 15th December 2015
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I hate the way that anything I look at seems to be peppered with hooks for “10 tips for a flat belly” or “Housewife discovers beauty secret that angers doctors”. What are they trying to tell me…?
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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If I told you what the ones I get served said, you would not believe your eyes. Or, “Irishman sees rubbish, Australian girl can’t believe what he sees!” or something like that…
Sjaak Alleman | 15th December 2015
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“Using a very sharp knife can lead to tragic results. Read on….”. I always thought blunt knives are the worst.
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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True Sjaak,
But that doesn’t make the sharp ones any safer.
metropolitanhomesickblues | 15th December 2015
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Gone over to the Dark Side, have we. Timely. Love the dish though.
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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I will be back next week Ed. I promise.
Hope all goes well with you.
Conor
White House Red Door | 15th December 2015
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Yes, coriander is known as cilantro here in the States, a term much improved from the one I knew as a kid, “chinese parsley.” We’re making progress. 🙂
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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I kind of like the Chinese Parsley. I would have some fun with some of my Chinese friends with that.
White House Red Door | 15th December 2015
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Here’s another one for you… when I was a little girl, someone gave my father a “Fruit of the Month Club” subscription (this was the 1970s). I remember trying kiwi for the first time as well as pomegranates, which were labeled “Chinese Apples.”
A Cookbook Collection | 15th December 2015
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Well done Conor, the finest click bait writing I’ve ever read! I have to admire how many references you got into one post, I thought I was on Facebook for a sec 🙂
Recipe looks great as always but I’m going to have to read it back without laughing this time to try to take it in.
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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Thanks Donna,
You are very kind. I did neglect to include the International Space Station and Age Reducing Serum. I will have to write a second.
Anna | 15th December 2015
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Great recipe. Peter’s mango chachandu must be perfect with the pork. Will try this.
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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Excellent. It is really very simple and worth it. I hope Peter approves.
StefanGourmet | 15th December 2015
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If you were to write like this all the time, I would surely disengage. But for this once, it’s a hoot. I’m sure my fellow passengers on the train must be wondering what is wrong with that guy who’s laughing hysterically at his phone… Some nice cooking as well. Excellent!
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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There is no way I could write this nonsense more than once. Though the pork and mango worked very well. That I could repeat.
BuntyMcC | 15th December 2015
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Click bait. So that’s what it’s called. Clever of you – but please don’t do it again. Loved the recipe, but how much lime juice?
Conor Bofin | 15th December 2015
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Once is more than enough. I used the juice of half a lime. I would try it and see as the sweetness of the mangos can vary a lot. Also, the amount of heat coming out of the chili has a bearing.
I could have just said “Blog reader begs writer to desist. You won’t believe what happened next” But, I took pity on you.
ladyredspecs | 15th December 2015
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Sold your soul to the devil Conor? Maybe you could buy it back with a serve of 5 spice pork with mango sauce….
Bumbles of Rice | 15th December 2015
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Brilliant. And the recipe sounds great too.
Conor Bofin | 16th December 2015
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Thank you. Amazingly, it was fun to write.
Bumbles of Rice | 16th December 2015
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My favourite line was about Apple executives. I’m making this dish.
Conor Bofin | 16th December 2015
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I enjoyed that one. My problem now is that I can see so many more that I missed!
anotherfoodieblogger | 16th December 2015
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I was absolutely shocked by what I read in this post! I am not sure what to think! OMG hide the knives! (Conor your humor never fails to amuse me….) 😉
Conor Bofin | 16th December 2015
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Thanks Kathryn. I had some Visitors from Portland, Oregon here over the past few days. It rained and rained. They felt at home. Is it always wet in that quarter?
anotherfoodieblogger | 16th December 2015
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Yes, the Portland area is a very wet climate. Although I am in the Pacific Northwest only a few hours from that city, my little town sits over the mountains in the high desert and we have a much drier (and colder) climate.
Conor Bofin | 16th December 2015
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Give me cold and dry any day.
Mr Fitz | 16th December 2015
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Funny
Jeff the Chef | 18th December 2015
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Nicely done! This is the recipe that Giada doesn’t want you to know about!
Conor Bofin | 18th December 2015
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Now I know you understand Chef!
Tara Sparling | 18th December 2015
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I see your clickbait and raise you a Vine of a baby laughing at a dog startled by a retro toy from 1989 to the sound of a beauty blogger with acne singing a cover version of a song written by Ed Sheeran for One Direction. How am I doing?
On a side note, this is one of my favourite posts of the year.
Conor Bofin | 19th December 2015
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I did watch a video of a dog standing on a remote control vacuum cleaner, looking glum and being moved around the kitchen, if that counts for anything? The Interweb enriches my life!
ps: Thanks for the kind words but I really feel the “one of” takes the edge off the compliment.
Tara Sparling | 19th December 2015
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Yes. I was having rather an equivocal episode yesterday. I should have said one of my favourite posts of yours. However, I’ve just had a glass of port and am now in a position to confirm that it is in fact my absolute favourite. You’re welcome.
FrugalHausfrau | 19th December 2015
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Someone gave you a one star! No sense of humor! I give a five star to any post that makes me snort out loud and just about pee my pants, but if memory serves, these simple herbs and spices are an amazing cure for urinary issues and mango is a superfood guaranteed to boost your brain power. I can’t remember for sure. I have to have some mango before I can finish…this…what? Where was I?
Anyway, your money back if you’re not satisfied.
The pork, the mango – everything looks so mouth watering!
Conor Bofin | 19th December 2015
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I like the idea of the brain power boost. That would make me read any clickbaited drivel.
FrugalHausfrau | 21st December 2015
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🙂 Well, 9 out of 10 doctors agree with you!
ChgoJohn | 22nd December 2015
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A great post, Conor. I found it so amusing that I quit reading an article with pictures of a naked Justin Bieber riding his hover board.
You’re welcome.
Conor Bofin | 22nd December 2015
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I’m getting a visual! Arrrrrrggggghhhh!
ChgoJohn | 22nd December 2015
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It’s a small price to pay for the huge amount of traffic you’re about to receive.
Conor Bofin | 22nd December 2015
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I think I’ll become a ‘recipe’ only blogger. This is causing too much stress!