Your New Year diet – Over half a ton of muesli.

The Wife has her uses. Some time ago, our friends Dave and Maria gave us a recipe for muesli that they, in turn, had got from some health nut down in Australia. At first, it seemed a lot of trouble to make and I would not have fitted the category of health nut. However, it was pretty tasty and the Wife decided to make it again. And again. And again. And again. You get the picture. In fact, over the nineteen years since we first made it, we have enjoyed this for our breakfast most days. That got me thinking…

We make it, on average, every three weeks. We have been doing that for over 19 years.  Let’s run through the ingredients and the maths so you can get a clearer picture:

Given that we have been doing this for so long, I know you want to know how to do it.  FIrst you need to chop just under 50 kilos of almonds.

American Side Note: For our American cousins, the rough calculation is 2.2 pounds per kilo. For the less bright amongst you (American or otherwise) that’s just over twice as much!

Chopped Almonds. The first thing on the agenda.

Next you need to grate just under 33 kilos of coconut block and add  just over 24 kilos of wheat germ.

Chopped Almonds, Grated Coconut and Wheatgerm get the show on the road.

Stir these together and bake in a moderate oven for fifteen minutes.

First we mix ’em, then we roast ’em.

Use the time that these are in the oven to chop the hazelnuts using a small knife. Yes, 33 kilos of hazelnuts.

Hazelnuts. The wife has hand cut 33 kilos of these.

Get your hands on 40 kilos of cashew nuts as well.

Cashews – 40 kilos of these beauties over the years.

These need to be crushed a bit while you are heating the half the oat flakes for ten minutes on an oven tray.

Jumbo oat flakes – This is the main ingredient weighing in at 99 kilos

Add the first three ingredients when they are both warmed, do the next bit of mixing.

Jumbo oat flakes, chopped almonds, grated coconut and wheatgerm

The stirring gets more difficult as the weight gets added. Or so the Wife tells me.

For such a small girl, she has strong arms. Probably from stirring all these ingredients.

This is the first of the action shots. I am surprised that the Wife doesn’t have bigger arms.

Adding the honey. It does not look like much but she mixes in just shy of 9 kilos a year.

You have to love the pouring shot. Though it is easy enough to capture the gloopy honey as it drips slowly down.

Stirring in the honey. There is a lot of stirring.

The stirring gets more difficult as the honey mixes in. It starts to look a bit like muesli at this stage, so we confidently add the 33 kilos of flax seeds.

The flax seeds (linseed) added. Good for the digestion they say. But 33 kilos?

More stirring next before the beautiful pumpkin and sunflower seeds go in. 66 kilos between the two.

Pumpkin Seeds and Sunflower Seeds are next to be added.

More stirring needed. Just before she does, you have just enough time to admire the smooth pour of the seeds.

Pumpkin Seeds and Sunflower Seeds waiting to be stirred in.

When they are stirred, we (she) add the other half of the oats. Cue action shot number three.

Add more un-roasted jumbo oats and stir. How do you un-roast something?

Yes, you have guessed right more stirring needed. Then we (she) do a bit of chopping and add the remaining ingredients.

The last 4 ingredients – dried cranberries, dried apricots, raisins and sultanas.

It’s easy enough for you looking at this, you have not had to chop up 33 kilos of dried apricots. However, when it’s all done, it is worth the effort (particularly as the Wife is the one making the effort.).

Dried cranberries, dried apricots, raisins and sultanas – Chopped and ready to stir in.

All stirred in and ready to have with yoghurt, and fruit.In the Wife’s and my opinion, this is the best way to start the day. If we thought otherwise would we have eaten over 600 kilos of it over the last 19 years? Another calculation. I reckon that I have enjoyed it with over 6,500 bananas in that time. Mmmm…. Tasty!

One final calculation and to sum up as it were, I reckon I owe the Wife a debt of gratitude. That’s a hell of a lot of chopping, baking and stirring. Thanks Wife!