Poached pears – If there’s one thing that really annoys me…

PearsYes, I am having a rant and you may be in my line of fire. You may be the cause of my ire and anger. But, as we say here in Ireland: If the cap fits, wear it. If you take offence, suck it up. Because I am beyond caring. I have reached the end of my rope. I am saying what I need to say and you better just take it on the chin.

You may be thinking “Oooh, what could I have done to offend him?” or “He couldn’t be upset at anything I have done. Sure, I hardly know the man.” But you might be one of them. You may be part of that cohort of people who cause me confusion and give me heartache. You might be the one that gets right up my nose.

OK, let’s narrow the field. If you’re a food blogger, you are possibly one of these offenders. Not every food blogger does it but a number of you do and it boils my blood. It puts me in a white rage. You write a post with a nice, pithy story, often about your blooming family (read that either way, I don’t care). Having drawn me in with a lovely tale, you finish the post with a recipe that bears absolutely no relationship to the contents of the story. What the hell are you playing at?

Poached pears

  • 6 to 8 pears
  • 200 gms of honey
  • 200 gms of brown sugar
  • juice of an orange
  • zest of half that orange
  • 2 star anise
  • 500ml of water (or enough to cover the pears in the pot)
  • Some vanilla ice cream to serve

Peel the pears, doing your best to keep the stalks on. I failed on a few of them. Put them with all the other ingredients into a pot and bring them to a boil.

Poaching pears

The other ingredients bar the water and ice cream. Don’t boil the ice cream.

Simmer for 30 minutes or so. Take them out and let them cool completely.

Pears cooling

The pears cooling. Notice the missing stalks, if you can notice something that is missing, that is.

Reduce the poaching mixture by about three-quarters so you have a nice sticky sauce remaining. Fish out the star anise and serve over the pears with a nice piece of ice cream.

Poached Pear and ice cram

Notice the addition of the piece of mint (from the garden). Very professional!

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Latest comments
  • Hahahahaha. And gorgeous pears!

    • Thanks for stopping by. They were pretty tasty.

  • Funny stuff, Sir!

    • Thanks Adam. I had to get it off my chest.

  • I am now afraid, very afraid! Pears are one of my favourite fruit and these just look magnificent and I am just so glad you didn’t poached them in port or red wine! I don’t like them that way. I like the addition of star anise as well, such a lovely warm spice.



    • Thanks Willie, The anise added a nice layer of flavour.

  • I love that. I’ve noticed how some recipes are tacked on the end of a ‘long list of things I did today’.

    I tend to just write a load of old shite and then start cooking.

    • Where I tend to cook a load of Sh1te and start writing….

  • Absolutely lovely.

  • That’s it? I was so looking forward to something really juicy, really “oh ya, that pisses me off, too.” No poking sticks at people who eat cute bunnies? Nothing harsh? I’m getting wailed on for bear hunting. I wanted someone to get wailed on for something really harsh. hmmm… Well, I’ll have to soothe myself with pears. I’m going to the grocery this morning, will buy some pears and anise and give it a try.

    Robin, who promises to not write about her family today.

    • Hi Robin, Go out and shoot some bunnies for me!

    • Hi Flori, I just read it. There is a logic and a story to why you cooked the fish. You are (unlike the fish) off the hook.

  • I’ve just thought of another annoyance – people who comment without mentioning the merits/demerits of the food. Nice pears.

    • You are beginning to sound like Sid James – Nice pear, etc…

      • Damn I was going to write that but then I thought Id be lowering the tone – but still seeing how you’ve already done it….

        • How could you lower the tone of this post?

  • I just bought a flat of pears the other day and was thinking I am going to have to have poached pears because we cannot eat them all. Perfect timing! HAHAHAH & Great rant!

    • The rant made me feel better. I should do it more often. The pears did too. Ditto to them.

  • Poached pears annoy me too, especially when you have them and I don’t 😉

  • You crack me up! Now for the recipe…

  • Beautiful photos Conor! Love the one with the hot pears, stalk or no stalk!

    Didn’t those beautiful pears calm you down? Not even ice cream?

    • I have to admit that they were pretty tasty indeed. The photo pear in the last shot was done before dinner so I had Desert, Main Course and Desert again.
      Happy days.

  • I’m now off to write a lovely little post about how lovely my holiday in France was, and finish it off with a recipe featuring soy sauce for effect.

    Actually, I ‘think’ that when I put recipes they are somewhat tied to the story but you have sown seeds of doubt in my mind and I’m going to be forced to re-read every single post just in case! Darn it.

    • Sorry about that! Your posts are always so elegant, I will forgive you.

  • Do I play?

    • Hi Barb, nothing you do could upset me. By the way, where’s the wine? I was expecting a delivery….

      • Ooops! Seems like it disappeared Conor! Let me go see if there is anything left in the cellar! Be right back…

        Whew – one bottle left! I need to get directions…

  • Wow Conor, those pears look incredible. I dont think you’re talking about my blog because it doesnt get anymore direct than that. Nice post. I hope your weekend is fantastic as well – Ross

    • Absolutely not. You never give us a recipe! Just great entertainment.

  • I’ll make sure to never pull this kind of stunt on my blog — thanks for the warning Conor 🙂 I love the image of the pears cooling and the steam — great photo!

    • Thanks Danny. You never would. Would you?
      Have a great weekend,

      • Haven’t yet.. but I’ve only been at this for a short while 🙂

        • You have been warned!

          • I wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t do 🙂

  • Thanks for such an informative post…I’ll be extra careful. LOL. A rant can sometimes do wonders. Your lovely pears had to make you feel ever better. I know I’ll feel better after making your recipe for poached pears once I get back to New Hampshire. My pears should be just about ready for picking.

    • Thank you Karen. Sadly, I have to depend on the supermarket for mine. Still, they were pretty good, if you will pardon the self praise.

      • They sound good to me…I can’t wait to make them.

  • The pears look lovely with ice cream, and I’ll have to give this recipe a try. My mother usually makes it with white fungus and red dates, and it’s perfect for soothing coughs. Great photos – that last one looks like something you’ll find in a food magazine! 🙂

    • Thanks for the comments. Tell the food mag editors to get in touch. I could do with a bidding war!

  • Hee hee….I really like readin your posts.

    • Thanks Grainne, I like you reading them too!

  • Great recipe and great rant! I know some food bloggers who do just that. It pisses me off, too!
    By the way, your recipe will also work without adding the water. You might need to turn the pears a few times, but the taste will be stronger.

    • Thanks Stefan. I will try them that way. Less slaving over a hot stove for me.

  • Ire from Ireland. Off topic, nice pears. *Smiles*.

  • Perfection…(The “G” Spot dude) 🙂

    • Another simple recipe and tasty with it.

    • And thanks for the Facebook mentions too Derrill. I need all the traffic I can get!

  • It’s rare that you can read a post on a FOOD blog and start laughing but you certainly manage it, time and time again. I must say your blog is fantastic and when I get round to making one, I will add you to my blog roll. Really excellent blog!

    • Thanks for that. I’m glad you like it.

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