Fine wines do it, yet most people don’t.

I’m happy to report that I am one of the few exceptions to the ‘degeneration with age’ rule. Like a fine wine, I have gained subtlety and depth with the passage of time. I have also learned some interesting, if seemingly irrelevant, facts. One such pearl of wisdom is that the average bath holds 320 litres of water. That is about 84 gallons in American.

This puts me in mind of the story about the chap who, suffering from a skin rash, went to the doctor. The doctor gave him some tonic and told him to take two teaspoons of it after a warm bath. A week later, the patient returned. His skin rash worse. The doctor asked him if he took the tonic. He replied “No, I couldn’t do it Doctor. Sure, I couldn’t even finish drinking the bath.”

Possibly, I may be wrong about the wisdom piece above because I managed to work my way through a bath and a half of wine. All in the cause of making a Notice Board for my friend G. He had mentioned that along with his burgeoning young family, came a certain amount of disorganisation in the kitchen and he was in need of a notice board. I offered to make one using wine corks.

In what appears to me an embarrassingly brief period, I had amassed the 576 required to complete the project. 576! That means 576 bottles of wine. That is 432 litres or 114 gallons American. I can hear you tut-tutting from here. In my defense and unlike my Sunday night bath, I shared most of the wine with others, honestly.

So many corks. I actually had enough to make another notice board or two. Pretty embarrassing…..

Patience. Yes lots of patience required.

Nearly there….. It is amazing how many of the wines one remembers drinking. Perhaps it would be a problem if one did not (note the use of the third person, thereby passing any guilt on to an unknown third-party).

The finished notice board back from the framer. So much work over such a long time….

I was pleased with the final outcome. After we made it, I had a bath, all 320 litres of it.

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Latest comments
  • Very nice idea Conor! And very well done too.

  • Very nice, Conor.
    Glad to have been of (minor) assistance.

  • Very nice. After re-reading ‘The Cask of Amontillado’ recently, I’m hopeful that you have a cork from that variety in your collection.

    • That is one for a future notice board Adam. As soon as you send me a case (or a bottle).

  • Gorgeous Conor, please make me one, I don’t have the strength or the corks!!

    • It’s quite remarkable how quickly you can collect them…

  • Wow, that is A LOT of third-party guilt “someone” has chugged… Impressive, monsieur. This may be the first ever crafts-related blog I’ve actually been damn curious to try!!

  • Looks nice, and a fun idea! We thought about decorating a wall with the wooden boxes used for Bordeaux and other fancy wine. It’d probably take us and our guests about 2 years to finish 576 bottles (not counting the ones consumed in restaurants etc.)

  • Absolutely beautiful Conor! Way to go man! My husband makes trivets with the corks in our house…A new project for you maybe?

    • Hi Barb,
      There is a whole cottage industry I could get going as long as I keep drinking enough wine to keep me incapable of starting a cottage industry…

  • Aptly, I was sipping on a Spanish red while I was reading your post. Cheers!

  • We’ve been boycotting glass for a couple of years because there was no glass recycling in the area. But I recently found ONE place that takes glass for recycling a few months ago, so now I’ve been saving corks as well – for this exact reason! I’ve told the hubs but apparently he doesn’t listen. It came up over the weekend and he was like, “what the heck are you saving corks for?” LOL I can’t wait to have enough to make a board. It’s going to be awhile for me though. We developed a taste for the boxed wine and only buy bottles on special occasions. Cheers!

    • I have to stay away form the boxed stuff. Too easy to “I’ll just have one more glass….”

  • How great is that! I love the idea and am going to follow your example… with great pleasure!

  • Love the board…hope you saved the favorites for your board. I have a big jug in my wine cellar with my favorite wine’s corks. I stopped saving the rest.

  • Hi Conor,
    Most bottles are screw caps (or stelvin as some say) these days in SA, so it would take me a while to collect enough corks, but I am a sucker for bits of “useless” info!

    Willie

    • Thanks Willie,
      I am enjoying a bottle of Australian Sauvignon Blanc as I type. It’s a stelvin. My first, and perhaps last, time using the word.
      Best,
      Conor

  • Love it! I collected corks in order to make a wreath, and ended up with enough to make four (although I had many helpers charged with the duty to scavenge them in my restaurant)! Gave them to all my mamas (and of course kept one for myself) on Mother’s Day, but have yet to blog about it. Great job on your board!

  • One would think that, living in California, I would like wine. I don’t. Just white zinfandel, and all my friends make fun of me for that. lol

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